Last Day Meditations

Because the human mind works associatively, not linearly, I’ve chosen to present my thoughts exactly as I think them, in a stream of consciousness style.  While it may seem scattered to some, I’ve chosen to be unrefined to preserve the authenticity of my thoughts.

In my experience, I’ve had good days and bad days, but no two are the same.  Though the seminar, I’ve been uplifted by humor, while wounded by apathy.  I’ve been encouraged by hope, but devastated by poverty.

Be kind, because everyone you meet is facing a harder battle.  No matter how callous or cavalier a child’s exterior, I know it’s not their fault.  Children aren’t born broken, but made broken by their surroundings.  They face things I can’t truly understand because I haven’t been there.

Teaching isn’t just the dissemination of knowledge.  We witness the progression of lives, the stages of growth.

It’s a miracle when you teach a lesson and your students lock eyes with you, intently focused and thirsting for knowledge.

Beauty can exist in the least likely circumstances.  I was struck by the sweeping melodies of Beethoven while hearing kids curse.

Victor Frankl famously wrote- “What is to give light must endure burning.”  To many kids, you ARE their light, their anchor, their idol.  When you fall, they fall.  Your reputation is everything.

No matter how prepared you are, teaching is all about being flexible and adapting to ANY situation, however frustrating or confusing.  There’s no script for life.  It’s all improv.  Everyone is doing everything for the first time.  Everything only happens once.  No day, no matter how similar/routine, is identical to the last.

The first day, I was hypersensitive of being the only white girl in the room.  As my former high school teacher described his urban experience- “the only white things in the room were me and the chalk.”  The funny thing was, by the end of two weeks, it really didn’t bother me.  What is black and white anyway?  Skin color is genetic, but race is social.

Why are the teachers mostly white and the students mostly black?

So many pregnant teens, school fights, chronic academic failure.  Conversations are loud and public; confrontations are real and intense.

Why is it that these kids tout Nike air Jordan’s, expensive jewelry, and Gucci handbags, but no books in the house?  Where are the priorities?

I read in Freakanomics once that it doesn’t matter how much you read to your child unless you have books in the house.  It’s all about cultural capital, educational resources…  the money, and what we chose to spend it on.

For Ms. Meiris, I addressed nine letters to failing kids with an application for summer school.  Nine.  And that was only her.  Each teacher had a list, and every name was one too many.  Some of these kids were failing multiple subjects, among them Spanish.  But why, if they speak fluent Spanish, are they failing?  Of course there is a divide between the spoken and written.

Although my real mentor teacher was Ms. Gimpel, I spent about half my time with her history department colleague, Ms. Meiris.  Both impressed me, but it was Ms. Meiris who stood out.  She reached me on such a personal level, taking precious time out of her day to sit and discuss our lives, and things beyond the classroom.  In these moments I felt like her student, though I’ve never had her as a teacher.  I saw myself in her as the type A workaholic who strives to perfect the beauty of her craft.  Though Ms. Meiris was a first-year rookie, she taught with humor, passion, and ceaseless patience.  I love her to death.

Among the subjects I taught (Economics, US History, World History), I can honestly say world history was my favorite, not only because of Ms. Meiris, but my inherent love for the subject.  I only wish our time could be more content intense, less discipline enforcement.

In reality, everyone is a teacher.  Everyone is a role model for someone else.  Your profession, vocation, or stage of life doesn’t change this.

The converse is also true.  Everyone is a student in the classroom of life.  We’re never done learning.