Blog #3 Those who can teach, should

When I was in tenth grade, my uncle, a person I look up to and love, asked me what I wanted to be when I got older, and what college I wanted to go to.  I responded with confidence and excitement, “I want to be a teacher”!  Now, my uncle likes to joke around and have fun; however, his response, which I view as a joke, really dug into my skin and angered me.  He said, “Ashleigh, come on.  Haven’t you ever heard the quote, ‘Those who can’t do, teach’ ”?  Because I did not want to back talk my uncle, I brushed off his “joke” even though it hurt my feelings.  I have wanted to be a teacher since I was young.  I am sure I am not alone, but I used to play teacher with imaginary students in my basement.  I have mentioned this to a few others in this seminar, but I am pursuing a duel major in early education and speech pathology.  Even though I have another interest in mind, teaching has still been my passion since I can remember.  I will be honest; I did not think that teaching was as demanding, exhausting, and challenging as it is.  I never realized what I was in for when I decided to enter college as an education major.  Teaching is NOT easy, and not everyone is fit for the job, just like not everyone is fit to be an engineer.  There is a fire inside me wanting to talk to my uncle and to prove to him that the quote is absolutely, one hundred percent false.

Through this practicum experience, I have learned that teaching is not just regurgitating material so that students can write it down and try to learn it.  Teaching is a continuous, eight hour presentation every week day, where one needs to be prepared, have a lesson plan or agenda of what needs to be done in a certain amount of time in the most effective way, find strategies for a controlled classroom, have effective classroom management, and much more.  Teachers do not just recite information.  They have to speak in a way that students can comprehend and learn.  They have to be creative and think of various ways to teach the information, so that students do not get bored, fall behind, or swerve off-track.  Thinking of lesson plans that are creative and engaging is difficult, and takes a significant amount of time.  It is a very rigorous job that I believe many people, especially the students and parents themselves, take for granted.  Without teachers, there would be no such thing as receiving an education.  There would be no such thing as having a degree to get a job.  What do you think the world would be like if there were no teachers, or if there was not someone to teach kids how to read, how to count, how to solve problems, etc.?  I think the world would be in chaos.

As I have been in my classroom this week, I am beginning to realize more about myself as a person, and as an adult.  I have tried to do “check-ins” with myself after each school day, and I think to myself, “Is teaching all day, everyday, what I want to do when I graduate?”  “Is my heart in it?” “Do I feel comfortable controlling thirty kids at one time and being responsible for teaching them to learn?”  “Can I use the skills that I do feel comfortable with in a more effective way other than teaching, such as speech pathology?”  By asking myself these questions, I have really tried to dig deep inside of me for the solutions.  Right now, my thoughts and feelings about whether to continue to double major, to just stick to education, or just choose speech pathology, are all over the place.  Not only do I not know where my true feelings about my future lie, but also, by being in the classroom setting, I have come to realize how shy, nervous, and anxious I become when my pre-service teacher asks me to teach the class.  I think my anxiousness is coming from the fear that my students will not understand what I am relaying to them, and in turn, I will fail at doing my job of teaching them.  I know how important education is, and I do not want to fail them.  I also know life is about taking risks, but then again, I have to think about myself, my true feelings, and my life.  I need to find where my heart lies and I need to be able to answer the question, “Am I happy with what I am doing with my life?” with the answer “yes”.

Mr. Earl Carter’s speech the other day was very powerful to me.  He asked the group in his speech to “raise your hand if you are willing to give one hundred percent of your time and effort to teaching”.  I did not raise my hand.  I am trying to reflect on why I did not raise my hand, and I have concluded that I do not know if I am far along enough in schooling to say whether my heart is in teaching or not.  Ultimately, I do want to make a difference in young children’s lives, I just do not know if teaching is the way for me to do it.  Although my thoughts are still scattered about what I want to do with my life, I do know that this experience has truly changed my life, and I am happy to have taken part in it.  No matter what I decide to do, the lessons and experiences I am taking away are so special and valuable.  I will cherish them for the rest of my life.

Blog #2: Never Underestimate

First, I just wanted to say thank you to those who have participated in the whole group discussions and our small PSU group discussions.  I truly have learned so much through your experiences and your advice.  I hope that I have given you helpful input as well.

Dr. Staples introduced the idea of seeing yourself in every person.  I had never really thought of this until she talked about it, but I have come to learn that it truly is a great way to think, especially as a teacher.  With the help of Dr. Staples’ words, I walked out of practicum Friday feeling like I had finally accomplished something.  Previously, I just felt very overwhelmed by my first time in an urban setting and experiencing some of the problems, whether behavior or educational, that occurs in and out of the classroom. It was the greatest feeling in the world when I felt like I had made a difference in a student’s life.  As I was in the school observing, I tried to put myself in other’s shoes and relate each child to myself.  I noticed that several of the students who were the ones acting out in class and being disruptive, were also the ones who were severely struggling in school.  If I was having a hard time concentrating in school, and was knowingly significantly below the rest of my classmates, I would act out in anger as well.  I would be so frustrated that I was doing poorly and not understanding anything that the teacher was talking about.  It was clear to me why I was seeing some students act out in class and being disruptive; they really just did not understand or were not able to follow the rest of the class, resulting in a feeling of failure, which no one likes to feel, no matter what age.

Friday during school, I had helped a very below-basic student, Tiyan, who usually does not do anything in class because he is unable to keep up or work at the same pace as his fellow classmates.  Not only is this child a very below basic student, but he also has a behavior problem that severely affects his learning.  The first two days I was in the school, he mouthed off to the teacher, called her derogatory names, and basically, threw a tantrum in the middle of class.  Also during these first two days, he had an aide come in to monitor his behavior and help him with his schoolwork.  One of the major problems about this was that his aide does not speak English very well, and cannot truly help him understand what the teacher is teaching.  Today (Friday), his aide was not in the classroom.  He was alone at his desk, not completing any work because he just honestly did not know how to do it.  I took it upon myself to be almost like his tutor for the day, to help him when he needed it, which I learned, was basically for everything.  With a little bit of encouragement and assistance, he was keeping up with the class, and finishing everything that he needed to complete.  You could tell in his eyes that he was excited to be doing well.

As I continued to help him throughout the day, both me, and my pre-service teacher saw a significant difference in him.  When he did well with an assignment, or read a word correctly, I would reward him with praise.  It was evident that he liked the attention and he liked knowing that he was doing well.  He did not act out at all the entire day.  He went up to the teacher a few times to tell say, “Mrs. Wiesel, Look! I finished it and I did it right!”  It made me feel so good that I was the one who helped him to succeed and push him in the right direction.

What I learned that I think was most important to his success, was that I made sure he was understanding what he was supposed to learn, and taking the time to do so, whether he needed extra time or not.  I showed that I cared, and that I wanted him to understand it.  I also pushed him. He really struggles with reading, writing, and math, three very critical components to a successful education.  Although it was evident he was struggling, and sometimes got frustrated, I kept telling him encouraging thoughts.  He listened to me, and kept on working, without getting angry with me.  I really was proud of him.  I gave him many high fives and other forms of praise and support.   At the end of the day, Mrs. Wiesel rewards the students who did well with candy.  Today was the first time in weeks that Tiyan had received candy.  He jumped out of his seat with the biggest smile on his face.  It was so rewarding to see.

Through this experience, I have learned to never give up on a student, no matter how below basic a student is.  Even if the student is so below basic in first grade that he cannot read the word “is”, I have come to understand that it is possible for he or she to succeed.  The student just needs extra one on one time with a teacher or aide, and encouragement that he or she can be successful.  I have learned first-hand to never underestimate a student’s possible abilities.   This goes along with the self-fulfilling prophecy.  If you have negative expectations for a student, they will end up meeting those negative expectations, rather than what their potential expectations can be.  It was evident to me that Tiyan can be successful if he receives extra time, attention, and praise.  I am very thankful for this experience because it has left a mark on my heart and life.  I will not underestimate a student’s potential because it is possible for them to succeed.

Ashleigh Marrella Blog #1, Note To Educators

I am going to be honest from the beginning.  I do not have a strong background in urban areas, especially urban schools.  I grew up in a suburban area.  I went to a public high school, and the population was predominantly white with a few minority groups.  If I seem biased or as if I seem like I don’t understand the impact of the children’s lives that live in urban areas, I apologize.

I have recently watched the movie, Freedom Writers in preparation for this seminar.  I thought that watching this movie would help me gain a little more perspective of what an urban school is like, and what occurs inside and outside of the school day.  The movie has helped me significantly.  Since I grew up in a suburban area my whole life and never spent much time in the actual city of Reading, the city closest to me, I never fully comprehended the different life style that urban children grow up in.  I think I had an idea, but I did not want to believe it or think about it.  Not only is it scary to think about it, but it is also depressing.  I am truly blessed to have the life that I have, to have the supportive parents that I have, to be able to go to Penn State, and the list could go on and on.  I am about to face the urban environment head on, and I am not just going to visit the city, but I am going to explore the schools and learn more about other cultures.  I could not be more anxious, excited, and nervous to embark on this journey, and I am very thankful for the opportunity.  Hopefully I will learn how to make an impact in these children’s lives, like Mrs. Gruwell did in her classroom in the movie.

Going back to the movie, some of the different individuals shared their lives outside of the school.  One girl had an abusive father.  Another girl watched her father being beaten and taken to jail, while also being a witness in a murder case.  One boy watched his friend accidently shoot himself.  Almost all of them were shot at, know someone who died in gang fights, and did not have a supportive home life.  I am not trying to instill fear in myself, or anyone that reads this, but I am just reiterating the fact that these students we will be working with may, well probably do, have serious struggles they are dealing with that we will have to encounter and face.  But another thing that the movie taught me is that despite the fact that the children grow up in an environment that is associated with negative connotations, these children can be successful, and can turn their lives around.  They just need someone to care, to be there for them and to listen to them.  They need someone to talk to and to guide them in the right direction.  In other words, they need “Critical Hope.”

The article, “Note to Educators: Hope Required When Growing Roses in Concrete”, is relatable to Freedom Writers in that it shows how the “Enemies of Hope” effect the learning environment negatively, and how “Critical Hope: The Enemy of Hopelessness” changes the unity, charisma, and energy of a classroom in a positive direction.  The Principal at the High School is the character that best represents a person who “defers hope” or is an enemy to hope and success.  The Principal knows how low the student’s reading levels are, but does nothing about it.  She does not believe that the students can overcome obstacles, learn the material being taught to them, or be able to be successful in life.  She said to Mrs. Gruwell, “They won’t be able to read that, look at their reading scores”.  She basically belittles them and does not have any hope in the students.  I now understand that this is not an effective way to think and preach, especially with students who just need someone to push them in the right direction, and keep pushing because they believe in them, and be supportive of them in and outside of class time.  This is where Mrs. Gruwell comes into play.  She on the other hand, has increasing expectations for these students.  Not only did she spend her own money to purchase necessary items that the school did not provide in order for her students to succeed, but she also gave everything she had to her class: Her care, her support, and especially her time.  She provided field trips for her students too.  She “took the time to make the things you teach relevant to students” and for them to “connect them to what they are reading” (Note to Educators).  In the end, Mrs. Gruwell helped her students become successful, graduate, and prove that no matter what background one comes from, one is still capable of accomplishing any goal that he or she puts his or her mind to.  Now, I know, I know, it is just a movie.  But this movie is based off of a real life story, and it is very powerful.  If I owned the movie I would bring it to Philadelphia with me, but unfortunately I do not.

Here is the movie trailer:

The most important thing I learned from this article and the movie, is that a successful education in the urban community is a combination of the students, the teachers, and the school board, along with attitudes, or the willingness to give time, the care, and the aspiring hope that teachers and board members need to give that paves the way to success for the students.  Students who live in poverty can reach the same level of achievement that middle and high-class students can.  It is just a matter of the teacher in the urban classrooms that makes a large impact on the students.